nope not gonna risk it again.

too high the bet it is.

The following times ahead isn't going to be all smooth sailing and that's something I ought to brace myself for. Late nights and early mornings, oh well I chose this road and no one forced me to, and so no one will be tasked/forced to hear me complain about the hectic schedule. but I can sort of promise myself already that,although no doubt it's ain't going to be easy, it won't be an one-off experience either. they will all make up the beautiful parts of my memory to last me through old age.

occasional "life talks" with close ones pull me through almost every obstacle out there which aims at deterring me. "almost" is used because there are just some obstacles out there that aren't meant to be removed but rather test me further.but yes, they are perhaps a source of the best mistake I have never ever made. oh the paradox..oh the irony. but you get the idea (:

yes. definitely. no matter how dumb or lame a conversation may sound to others,looking back,those are most likely to be the times when I laughed the loudest (in my heart)

Court Shoes un-seasoned. Blazer restricts movement. Stand under the Hot Sun, but can't tan.

Nonetheless, College Day was still quite amazing and wonderful and really unique. The heat from the sun and blazer was bearable since heat's friend, cool's foe to me. The shoes are the ones that ought to be offered a scolding. Gotta think of a way to season it to my feet as soon as possible.

Lunched with Sub-comm before heading over to school. Discussed many things over lunch. and realised that might as well make the best out of the seemingly little I have got. no point just going through every motion~there should be some form of enjoyment. ^^

Dinnered with Calista. Talked about loads of "Who is" and "What if". and ruling out. ><

Brother got macaroons for me after his CCA yesterday. which i relate it to something nice from him. shall take chance and ask to borrow his Research Education Notes.

Samuel's father's DSLR. went out for discussion with him the day before about signing up for an upcoming friendly Opens' . still contemplating to join the Team at the match because I know my skills have deteriorated tremendously, and since Tieh Yong will be back in SG for the months of June and July, he might well take my place instead. but Nick seems insistent that I go, cos TY might not be free. got another 3 more days to think and brood over it.

what if i don't have time for trainings. what if my doctor says my leg needs a 3 months rest?

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your hear, and lean not on your own understanding.

Because everything that God has placed in our life has a reason for it. Be it obstacles, relationship, heartache, finances, opportunity, challenges or failure. You name it. 

We may not understand why, because we aren't God.
But when we get to see the big picture, we'll be glad that we've been through that all  :)

Challenge me 30

uhhuh. so i went out with Samuel to discuss upcoming opportunities for friendly matches, and he showed me this that his friend did and sent to him. 

so here am I attempting to complete this despite the tiredness. 

oh gonna watch "The Little Singers of Paris" with him and Nick next friday. and that's provided i survive Xcountry. 

1. Five ways to win your heart: Honour your parents,cherish your friends,preferably once an UG member or a Volleyballer, Accepts others, Be yourself (:

2. Something you feel strongly about: Humanity. There is indeed no greater love than to be willing to go the extra mile and bring people along with you as you aim to succeed but not use them as a stepping board. 

3. A book you love: Jane Eyre. The full version does miracles to your mind. at least for mine.

4. List your whole day: Attended school, went for AJ VS HC Basketball Match, Homed with Councillors, Out with Samuel, printing Geog Notes while blogging 

5. Things you wanna say to an ex: So glad that we defied common sayings and remained as friends, even best buds ^^

6. Your views on mainstream music: No direct comments. Music should be left to the individual (how General Paper)

7. Five pet peeves: Continuous spouting of foul words, Stationeries in Pencil Case not faced in an uniform direction, Spilling of Stationeries out of Case, 

8. What you ate today: Some pineapple pizza like thing, Chicken Rice, 3 pieces of Prata

9. How important you think education is: Education, the formation of manhood in personality and the development of an individual's aim at serving the community. A selfish yet at the same time selfless possession. really important.

10. The first 10 songs in your playlist on shuffle: Never Had a Dream Come True, You're my Everything, 不具名的悲伤，脏兮兮，分叉口， 约定你， 习惯两个人，在我怀里，手放开，May I love you.

11. Your family: The most amazing pillar of supports. never really officially took time off busy schedule to think about them, to reflect on them until the recent OTC. brought me closer to them cos of the lost Saturdays (although they are still lost now) and made me realise the need to treasure all the small bits of time I have we them every now and then. 

12. Five guys whom you find attractive: Jenson Button, BobN, JCJR, ??

13. Your opinion on your body and how comfortable you are with it:You know it's the best present your parents can give you? and God's only present that will last you your entire life. No major qualms about it. but really not exactly happy over my weight issue here. once I stop exercising, it goes down. okay not by a huge number, but judging by the fact that I rely heavily on muscle weight for overall weight, losing 2-3kg is a big issue. the fine line between underweight and acceptable. well now on the acceptable par. just want another 3kg on wrist;aiming at the Levi's Watch. No other huge complains. (:

14. What you wore today: Pe Shirt with School skirt.

15. Your star sign and if you think it fits your personality: Cancer. Definitely. based on most of the things that my friends say. 

16. Something you always think "what if..." about: What if I didn't choose UG.Would I be less responsible than this? Would I push myself so hard in things that I do?

17. Someone that you're proud of: Momma. what else can you say. 9 months, going on 17 years of mentorship, friendship and guiding 

18. A problem that you've had. Biggest Problem perhaps my calf ligaments issue. don wanna get full term MC cos dont want to miss out on many things, but hurts all the time.

19. Five items you lust after: Items. Lust. Items are tough on my side. Lust? not so strong. :/ but let's see:

Crumpler Pencil Case (hurhurr insider's secret), 2012 Gustology Team Jersey, tough tough tough ><

20. Your fears: Failing in subjects like Geography (those memorising subjects), Inability to balance between Studies,CCAs, and Health. (neglecting Health recently)

21. How you hope your future will be like: An acceptable Government Job. teaching? social work? along that line (:

22. Your academics: Fluctuating Literature, Par on Pass Math, Considered good Geog, worrying Econs 

23. What you miss the most: My friendship lost in 2008

24. Five words that make you laugh: uh. depends on who say them, different people have differing words that will send me laughing

25. Something you're currently worrying about: If I would survive my Ad-hocs.

26. Things you like and dislike about yourself: How I value values highly and of utmost importance. How am rather rigid and would not prefer change

27. A quote you try to live by: "Forget the risk and take the fall;If it's what you want,then it's worth it all"

28. Somewhere you'd like to move to or visit: Greenland

29. Five weird weaknesses: Spectacles, Watches, Pencil Cases, Pens, Letter "J"

30. One thing you're excited for: The next time heading back to Secondary School.

 LOL

oh goodness. it's just monday and all the energy has seemingly been sucked out of me. 

all the 7am. all the meetings. all the agendas. all the deadlines. all the things to be done.

have to make good use of these weekdays, weekend shall have to be left to recharge.

eh friend. (:

Friend. you know who you are lah huh. cos i address you as that.

have no idea what's going on in your mind exactly,and nah I wouldn't probe too much. 

in life right, there are really too many things that are beyond our control and I think it has taught me enough that long as we can keep away from it as much as possible,we should,lest it angers us.

But for things that will turn even tougher when we leave them alone,then perhaps first we take a step back,

and attempt to see these problems from a wider angle and of course a different one.

I dare to say that no one will have it easy these days,so many things piling unto us. our shoulders.

maybe just maybe seek happiness in the small things in life that would make you happy and stick to them.

don't bother yourself unnecessarily,cos most of the time it ain't necessary.

what others lose,is their own lost. so let's not be too OMGOSH over their antics.

yupp this writer here ain't perfect either,and so she admits.

but yes, just want to let this friend here know that "long as we have tried our hands and best at something,we ask heart no guilt".

friction can't be taken out entirely in our lives,but yupp lubricants do the trick most of the time.

and here,lubricants refer to letting go things we previously thought we couldn't.

easier said than done maybe, so many others have been drilling this into my head,and how true in fact.

there are so many people left out there that we have yet to explore. and places that we have yet to go. 

don't ever let today's troubles be your tomorrow's worry. and am sure you wouldn't/ ^^

don't really like going around touting.

but yeah, there are friends around who are willing to hear you speak.

donwanna see/hear/read you down/frustrated.

not good for health.

*YOUR (typo error huh. hahah)

大家都会知道。

Friends,

fight,quarrel. even for fun.

but after that all, we know deep down inside that we care for each other even more.

however,without Listening,things will still get nowhere.

your friendships,make it or break it.

(:

Your most powerful muscle ((:

I forgot exactly when it was when I realised that Things will never get easier, only tougher. It was perhaps on that same fateful day that I made up my mind:

"Never to Run Ahead because Someone is Chasing After You,

But to Run Forward because of Something Ahead that is Worth Chasing After"

There is definitely nothing called "free lunch" in the World, and how true it is, either you make it or you break it.

Many a times will feel like giving up, as though we gave something our all,but nothing reaps out of it. Then you feel dejected,rejected by everyone and everything else.

But what you failed to recognise is the change within yourself.have you stopped to reflect. to realise how much you have really grown.

just measure against yourself. not anyone else.

you need not be in someone's else league in order to be perfect. nope,correction. there's no such thing as "perfect". You decide for yourself what is it that you want to attain. Long as you place your heart and mind all forward,nothing,no matter what is the outcome in the end,

you get to say

"IT'S REALLY ALL WORTH THE WHILE". not forgetting a wholehearted smile. :D

and that is what I wanna tell those people out there. It's okay it's alright, at least I won my inner fight  (:

sadly, some people just have no idea where their limits are. they take friendships for granted. and they push everyone around them to their breaking point. and this point refers to the point where they give up trying to be your friend. all thanks to you not knowing your boundaries.

friends are there to help you not for you to bully.

place my hands up in the air.

stand up.